In the Heaven of My Heart
by Erufailon4
Summary: Over a year after the ending of the anime, Kousei has a dream.


_He said one day you'll leave this world behind, so live a life you will remember_

_My father told me when I was just a child: these are the nights that never die_

\- Avicii: "The Nights"

The spring without her did eventually come, and even if it was hard, Kousei managed to continue living on his life. He desperately wanted to honour her memory, but no memorial concert was held, due to the lack of funding and the fact that Kaori Miyazono was still a controversial subject among the prefecture's classical music professionals. With the support of Tsubaki and Watari, he learned to look into the future instead of clinging onto the past, and a year of normal life passed.

It was a cool evening in April, exactly two years after Kaori had played Hisaishi's "_Morning in the Slag Ravine_" in that park, told her lie and stepped into Kousei's life. He was walking home with Tsubaki, as he had done for years. A gravely silence was between them.

"So", Tsubaki started, then realised that she had opened her mouth but it was too late to back out, "it's been two years now."

"Huh?", Kousei looked at Tsubaki, confused.

"Two years since we first met her."

Kousei looked at the sunset-stained horizon. He was silent for a moment and then said: "yes, I remember that."

Tsubaki felt the need to say something, anything, but nothing came to mind. Those four words had held more emotions in them that she had known to exist five years ago, and nothing she'd say would help him in the slightest.

Neither said anything during the rest of the walk.

That night, Kousei had a dream. It begun as countless before it: only blue sky, white clouds and a piano. But as he walked towards the piano, he felt a presence he hadn't felt for over a year, but which he recognised immediately. Kaori was standing behind him.

She had been in many of his dreams before, but always in the real world, not in this space that Kousei had begun to call the "heaven of his heart". And something in her was real, so heartachingly real that for a passing moment all he could do was stand still and live one millisecond at a time. She was here. For real.

"It's nice to see you again, Friend A." Her voice, oh her voice, how had he missed it. No longer frozen in place, he turned around.

She was wearing the same white dress as in the moment her spirit died. Her expression was soft but sad, deeply and unfixably sad. The smile on her lips couldn't hide it.

"You… I… I thought… how can you…", he tried but couldn't bring himself to end the sentence.

"I was given a second chance by a power beyond my capability of understanding. I decided to use it wisely."

"By appearing in my dream?"

"I've visited Tsubaki's and Ryota's as well. I've apologized to them, as I do to you, but you will be the only one I will thank. So, thank you Kousei Arima. For everything. And I'm sorry."

"No", Kousei started, feeling the guilt for the first time in months, "I'm sorry. I couldn't do anything and when it was over, I just kept going like nothing had happened, living my life like you'd never been in it."

"That's not true. What was your life before me? You couldn't play a single note without sinking into your abyss. And after me? You once again play, but not like a human metronome. You play with passion and freedom. So don't say that you dishonor my memory, for every note you play is a tribute to me."

Kousei didn't know what to say. Hell, he could barely comprehend her words, standing there and staring at her like an idiot. It took a while before his brain kicked in and he could say something.

"Y'know… One thing that I still haven't understood is your final letter. I read it, and… What you told about the first time you saw me perform… and everything that's happened since."

"Ah. Yes, there has not been a moment since that day that I haven't loved you on one level or another. I so wanted to be with you. Especially after I realized I didn't have much time left." She chuckled through the tears that had begun to form in her eyes. "Such selfish prayers."

"No, I don't think it was selfish at all. As you said, you didn't have much time left. But why me? What in me was really worth falling for?"

Kaori just smiled, and said: "Who knows. Love is never that simple. Maybe this was meant to happen, maybe we were destined to mutually inspire each other to live even if one of us didn't outlive the process. We will never know for sure."

Once again a silence fell upon them. It took almost forever for Kousei to finally say something.

"You were right, snow kinda does look like cherry blossom petals."

"Yes, I suppose it does", Kaori said, and after standing still for a little while longer, turned around. A portal opened in front of her, not like those fancy portals Kousei had seen in high-budget movies Tsubaki and Watari had taken him to see, but simply a rift in the space in front of her, with green, grassy fields visible on the other side.

"I have to go now. Thank you for everything, Kousei Arima… and goodbye."

She stepped through the rift and was gone.

When he woke up, it was still dark. He rose from his bed and walked to the window. There was a faint light at the horizon, and clouds were beginning to stand out more clearly against the pitch-black night sky. As he opened the window, he was greeted by a cold, humid wind.

There he stood, still sweating, but happy, so infinitely happy, more alive than ever.

Touched by the universe.

**A/N: This was my first-ever fanfic and I don't consider myself a particularly good writer, but I hope it's good enough. Originally published on AO3, I have further author's notes there. Thanks for reading. **


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